Adieu, Mon Amie
by thezombiemarch
Summary: He never even had the chance to say goodbye. / He never got the chance to tell him how he felt. Jean x Marco two-shot
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

So I'm back. And I thought I'd write a one-shot about one of the animes/mangas which I got into during that writing break I had.

* * *

The fire crackled as he stared at it blankly, the heat radiating warming him on the outside. Despite the heat, he still felt cold.

So cold.

Jean tugged the jacket closer, shivering slightly. Everything was so sudden. Just a week ago they were all jostling each other, getting on each others nerves as the last day of training loomed closer.

Now, at least half of them were dead.

He probably caused a good number of them.

Despite what Marco told him, he wasn't that good of a leader. He had watched his fellow recruits plunging to their deaths, going down the titans' throats.

Marco –

Jean gasped softly, the pain hitting him like a wave. He should have gotten over the pain of Marco's death already. He should have. It had been so long since he saw his mutilated body on the streets, but yet, every time he's reminded of his friend's death, he could feel the prickling sensation at the back of his eyes.

_Marco, how did you die?_

He fought back a sob, clamping down on his mouth as he shook from the rage. How did Marco die? He probably got eaten by one of those sick, _ugly_ beasts. And they didn't even finish the job. They bit half of him off and left. And _left_. They could have just left him alone and Marco would be right beside him now –

_ARRRRRGGHHHHHH._

He let out a primal roar, collapsing forward on his hands as his body began wracking with sobs. No. _No._ He couldn't be this weak. He couldn't. What if someone saw him –

_No, _to hell what others were thinking of him now.

He wasn't a monster. He had feelings too.

He deserved to mourn for his best friend.

Jean gasped for air, one hand clawing at his throat. Dammit, breathe. Why can't he just _breathe_?

Panting.

Gasping.

Drowning.

Droplets of his tears hit the ground, staining it with his grief. Dammit, Jean. Be strong. Be strong for Marco. What would he say if he saw you now?

_You're not strong. That's why you make a good leader. You know how it's like to be weak._

"Marco!" He shouted, his throat raw. "I thought we were supposed to do this together?"

"How dare you fucking _leave me alone?"_

_"_How dare you…"

"I don't even know how you died…"

"I didn't even get to say goodbye…"


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't remember the details. I remember trying to run. I remember trying to resist. I remember the fear that made my entire body quake as the titan raised me to his mouth. I remember the pain that radiated through my body, the scream that left my lips. I remember the feeling of free fall, as the titan got distracted… and then nothing._

_I see bright light._

_Why is there a faint sobbing in the distance?_

_Why does it sound like –_

* * *

He blinked the fog out of his eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the sudden darkness. Where… Where was he? He had never been in this part of the district before, and there was no one he could ask.

Marco looked around, confused, distraught. It was so dark he could hardly see a thing. He squinted, could've have sworn that he saw a steady glow in the distance. Maybe whoever was there could help him out.

He walked.

Walked.

Walked.

Brows furrowing together, he walked.

Something didn't seem to add up…

How… Just how did he end up here?

How is it that prior to this he couldn't remember anything _at all_?

Where was everyone else anyway?

His brows knitted together in concentration, trying to make sense of this. It didn't add up. He couldn't even dig out his memories. He had nothing to help him solve this mystery.

_Nothing._

Dread washed over him. Suspicion clouded his brain. Panic gripped his heart.

_Look up_.

Having no idea where that command came from, he did it anyway.

_Jean…?_

The man was hunched over, one hand supporting his weight on the ground, another at his throat. It was soft, but Marco could hear the sobs. He could see the shaking.

His own breathing hitched. It pained him to see someone he cared about looking so broken, so lost. He reached forward, wanting to give the blonde a reassuring pat on his shoulder –

His hand went straight through.

_What?_

Breathlessly, he looked at his hands in horror. No. This couldn't be. It couldn't –

He tried again.

His hand went right through, just as if he didn't exist. Just as if he was –

"No, no, no," he shook his head, eyes wide with horror. It didn't make sense. It must be a nightmare. He would wake up and Jean would be beside him. He still had things to tell him. So many things he wanted to experience with him. And they were going to do it once he woke up.

He'll tell him how he felt immediately when he woke up. He'll say those three words; bring Jean's face closer to him as he took him by surprise, taking his breath away with a passionate kiss. They'll smile sheepishly at each other, and he'll apologise for being so abrupt. They'll probably annoy the hell out of the other trainees, but it didn't matter as long as they were happy.

Yes, that must be the case. He should wake up now. Wake up now, Marco. Wake up.

Wake. _Up!_

He gasped, still staring at his outreached hand. His eyes flitted to Jean, body still wrecked with sobs.

Back at his hand.

_He couldn't be dead_.

No…

"Jean…" he let out, his breathing laboured. "Jean…"

_I wasn't strong enough._

_Now I'm dead._

_And I broke my promise._

_I'm so sorry, Jean._

Marco fell to his knees in front of his best friend, his crush, willing him to just look up. He just wanted Jean to see him one last time. See him well. Not like how his corpse looked like. He needed to say goodbye, goddammit!

A single tear rolled down his cheek.

And landed on Jean's hand.

"Marco," the sobbing blonde gasped, his head snapping up, and _saw_. They both saw, eyes wide with disbelief. Their last glimpse of each other, so broken, so confused.

_I'm so sorry, Jean. I'm sorry I'm leaving you like this. But stay strong for me. Please._

_Maybe I'll meet you again in the next life._

_Maybe we'll be happy there._

_But I can't stay. I have to go. And you have to go on with your life too._

_I'm… sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you... I'm sorry I didn't have the courage before, and now it's too late._

_I... I love you. I love you so much, Jean._

_Adieu... mon amie._


End file.
